RIVERSIDE, Calif. — When DeAndre Thornton stretched every bit of his angular 6-foot-5 frame to catch a pass over the middle of the field, he could not immediately pull the ball down to protect himself. And so, when the hit arrived, with all the fury a 205-pound opponent with a running start could muster, the crunch of shoulder pads and helmets reverberated beyond the sidelines.
Hits like these, despite attempts to bar them from the game, occur at all levels of football. But they resonate loudly at places like Arlington High School here, where the increasingly common questions about the consequences of playing football are more than academic exercises.
Just before the season, one of Thornton's teammates, Tyler Lewellen, a popular, outgoing junior defensive back, died from severe head trauma five days after collapsing on the sideline during a scrimmage with another team. He was one of more than a dozen high school players in the United States who died this year as a direct result of playing football.
Three days after Lewellen's death, Arlington played its first game. Eight days after that, his teammates were among the 800 people who turned out for Lewellen's funeral. In the time since, the Lions, along with their coaches and parents, have been working through their grief with hugs, tears and laughter, while clinging uncertainly to football.
Some players struggled with newfound fears in a sport that demands fearlessness. Others considered quitting — or simply cried because they missed their friend. Many felt a burden of honoring Lewellen with their play on the field, the sting of losing games numbed by the experience of real loss.
"I understand the kids who want to quit," said Ryan McCarthy, a 26-year-old assistant coach to his father, Coach Pat McCarthy. "I'm faking it every day, trying to be the energy guy. The chance to connect with the kids — I don't know what bigger impact I can have on my community than that. But for the first time in my life, I'm questioning my own plan in life. I'm in it for the connection, but I don't want to get close again. It's been a nightmare."
When Thornton lay on the field, emotions that lingered just below the surface rose up. They were visible in the somber faces on the sideline and also up in the stands, where Thornton's sister, Sabria, 20, burst into tears and teammates' mothers rushed over to reassure Thornton's mother, Jacinta Ramirez. She was busy talking to herself: Come on, DeAndre, get up.
On the field, Jim Clover, the trainer, scolded Pat McCarthy when he tried to remove Thornton's helmet. Clover was concerned there could be a spinal injury, but McCarthy was sure Thornton had the wind knocked out of him and needed his helmet off to help breathe.
After a few minutes, Thornton sat up, was helped to his feet and slowly walked to the bench.
He sat there, slightly dazed and uncomfortable, but answered Clover's questions and took a few tests, like standing on one foot with his eyes closed for 20 seconds. Clover typed the results into an application on his phone and asked Thornton if he wanted to keep playing.
"Yes," Thornton said, the most alert he had been.
'I Was Mad at Football'
That incident, which occurred this month, in the Lions' final game, laid bare their vulnerabilities. More often, there have been questions.
The most prominent one had rarely been asked in this diverse working-class community, which has a strong bond with football: Why were they playing? .
"I was mad at football," said Remmy Nerio, a junior who missed two days of practice, certain that he would switch to water polo. "The first week, I wasn't going hard and it freaked me out. I wasn't scared, but Tyler was my best friend. We had classes together. We ate together. I didn't know if I really wanted to play anymore."
One day at lunch, Ryan McCarthy joined Trevor Fedoruk, a senior captain who was sitting on the lunch benches by himself, his head down. Fedoruk, who is doing a physics project on how helmets compress, was staring at his phone, which had Lewellen's number on it, and looking down to hide his tears. Fedoruk saw everyone sitting with friends and realized he missed one of his.
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